The Play With Plague TNA Report For 5 14 09

Nightmare at the Asylum

Today, I�m going to start this column with an apology. Last week my article pretty much sucked, cause I didn�t have a lot of time to write it. And there is no way in hell last weeks show deserved 9/10. It was a 7/10. Sorry for that sloppy bit of journalism. But that�s over with, so on with tonight�s show!

So, as always, we kick off TNA with Kurt Angle, who grew some mean hair since last week. And has lost teeth�.And has different music�? Why is Mick Foley out here!!! TNA always starts with the Mafia. Always. I�don�t know what to do now. Nothing makes sense. *fetal position*

Foley starts talking about his match and the sacrifices people are making for it. He goes on to explain that for the first time Jeff Jarrett isn�t at Impact, and he feels somewhat responsible for that. He talks about JJ�s DVD and how he has respect for him. Then he pulls out a different DVD of something that happened in Tennessee regarding Jarrett. It is disturbing and dark, but he feels the fans have earned the right to see it. Later on, he�ll show them. Very mysterious. Good promo and suspense.

JB is back with the Main Event Mafia and is talking to Kurt. Wait, why does Kurt looked so jacked? STEINER?!? What�how�if�what the hell!!! Scott tells JB that Kurt isn�t here, and that he�s filming in Hollywood. That may be the longest time in Impact history we haven�t seen the MEM,personalized bobble heads, especially Angle. So Steiner�s in charge tonight. Booker is going to face Holliday, and Nash is going to do something. Nash reveals that Jenna Morasca will financially back the Mafia�if Sharmell is out of it. Oooh new conflict.

JB is with Mick, who is taking down JJ�s picture, because there�s a �crack� in it. Foley asks JB to teach him the crazy eyes, and he references Three�s Company. For those of you who don�t get it,personalized bobble heads, good for you. Eric Young comes in and is talking about how he makes the most of his scraps, but he never gets a chance. Foley gives him a match with Joe.
Recap of Lethal Consequences with Danials.

Match 1: Chris Sabin vs,personalized bobbleheads. Danials

West is still convinced Danials is Suicide. Whatever. Chris hit�s a shoulder charge and reverses a flipping arm drag. Danials hits a spinning backbreaker. They go up top,Color Printing Helps To Attract New Customers At Ease, and Danials bites it, and gets set in the tree of woe. Sabin does a stalling dropkick. We see interference from Shelly and Lethal Consequences is at the ramp coming down. Danials reverses things in the corner and nails a backbreaker, clothesline, and kicks. Falling stomp to Sabin from the top turnbuckle, then an STO. He goes for the Angel�s Wings, but Shelly interferes and Sabin does a springboard clothesline. He goes for a spinning DDT, but Danials turns it into an atomic drop, enziguri, and a BME for the win.

Winner: Danials

Match Rating: 8/10

JJ promo

Mick is in his office talking to the refs. He singles out Earl Hebner as �shady�, and tells him no matter what not to disqualify Joe tonight against EY.

Scott is with Jenna, and tells her that Sharmell apologized. He roid rages on JB for correcting him, and wants to set up a meeting between the two, while acting as the moderator. She agrees.

Mick promo.

Lauren with Angelina Love, who asks her about the phone call she made last week. It turns out to be Cute Kip, who doesn�t like his girls being taken out, and he tells Kong that they have a stretcher match later. That should be funny.

Video of a day in Jeff�s life. He is with his daughter,,,How To Nail Down Suitable Canada Catskiing Circuits Near British Columbia, driving a golf cart and a jet ski with her, just being a dad. He does say that Mick doesn�t know what living is however.

Match 2: Eric Young vs. Samoa �Taz 2.0� Joe

Joe starts off before the bell, taking the advantage. Eric does his flip over the turnbuckle and shoulders Joe and comes back in. Joe hits EY with knees and kicks him to the outside. Joe gets a chair and sets it up, but Young slams his head into it,customize bobblehead, and tries to climb into the ring. Joe hits him with the chair. In the ring, he locks in a rear naked choke, Cough cough Tazmission. He chokes him out for a win.

Winner: Samoa �Taz 3.0� Joe.

Match Rating: 7/10. Even though it was short, it was still good and accomplished what was necessary.

After the match,custom bobblehead, he picks up Eric and carries him out.

During the break, Joe puts EY in the trunk of a car, which drives off.

Mike Tenay interviews Sting, and asks about his sacrifice of retiring if he gets pinned. He says that he�s here because he wants to bring change, like honor and respect. He second guessed himself in the cage,Sticker Printing As A Source Of Advertising, whether he wanted to keep going, and that�s what cost him. But now he knows that it�s all worth it.

Lauren is with Wilde on her blind date. Daffney shows up and says that she set up the blind date. This is interesting. She flips out and screams �Where were you?!?� regarding the hair cutting thing, and that it�s all Taylor�s fault. She reveals that Taylor is her opponent in the first female monsters brawl, then attacks her. She walks away laughing like a nut job. Dr. Steeevieee, your patient still needs some more work done!

JJ is shown with his kids again. He references Mick a few more times, but is still just being a dad.

Match 3: Cute Kip vs. Awesome Kong

Kip out muscles Kong, but Saeed distracts him, and Kong throws him to the corner and starts beating on him. Kip grabs her throat,Shuttle For Any Types Of Occasions, but Saeed low blows him. Awesome Kong gets a chair and, WHAM! There�s one chairshot. BOOM. And again. She wraps the chair around Kip�s neck, and does two running splashes on it. She rolls him to the stretcher.

Winner: Awesome Kong

Match Rating: 6/10

JB is with Steiner and Sharmell. He tells Sharmell basically the same thing he told Jenna. Um, maybe the roids went to your brain Scotty, but I don�t think you�ve thought this one out. JB basically says my thoughts. Steiner looks pretty worried.

Lauren is with Team 3D. They talk about how Tag Team is alive and well, and take some shots at WWE. The British Invasion come in and attack 3D with LAX�s cases.

Match 4: The British Invasion vs. Amazing Red & Suicide

Suicide and Williams start, and Suicide takes advantage. West is still ranting about Suicide. Williams tags in Magnus, and Red blind tags in. Suicide and Red double team both Brits. Magnus boots Red in the face and flips him over. Williams is back in. Knees and punches, Magnus comes back in and leg drops Red. Red then takes advantage and kicks Magnus in the face, then does a crazy second rope DDT. Suicide tags in and starts beating both Brits. Rolling samoan drop on Williams. Red does missile dropkicks Magnus out of the ring, and flips over onto him. Suicide and Williams are on the top rope, and Suicide gets thrown off. The Guns come in and does a double kick to the head. Williams does a knee drop off of the tope rope for the win.

Winners: The British Invasion

Match Rating: 8/10. Really good tag match.

After the match, the MMG take out Red, then signal they�re gonna remove the mask. Lethal Consequences come into the ring with a mike.

The four confront and attack Suicide, They pin him down, and Danials comes out. Then West says Suicide is still Danials, but who is impersonating Danials? Wow Don, go back to the bar. Danials and Suicide take them all out, with an Angel�s Wings to Creed. They shake hands, and Danials tells him that he owes him one.

I was watching the hockey game and flipped back too late, to a fight between Sharmell and Jenna. But lets assume what happens, someone asked for an apology, the other wanted one, fight.

Match 5: Kevin Nash vs,customized bobbleheads. No Limit (Handicap match)

No Limit takes advantage, poetry in motion and some dropkicks. Yujiro goes for a flying clothesline, but Nash catches him and choke slams him. He hits a big back drop to Naito. Takes off the cast, and hit�s a Jackknife Powerbomb on Naito.

Winner: Kevin Nash

Match Rating: 7/10

Kevin grabs a mike and looks into the camera. He says that the world runs on violence, and at Sacrifice, there�s gonna be violence. But it�s name won�t be Samoa Joe. Will it be Taz though? It�s name will be Kevin Nash.

Mick is in his office showing his DVD to someone unseen. I�m betting that it�s Mr. Socko.

AJ Styles is with Lauren. He�s talking about his I Quit Championship at Sacrifice with Booker. He says that he�s been preparing for this match his whole life. He had all kind of chances to give up, but he had heart. He says that �I quit� will never cross his lips.

Match 6: Jethro Holliday vs. Booker T (I Quit Match)

They trade the advantage and trade punches,., then head outside. Booker drops Holliday across the guardrail. T asks the ref to ask Jethro,custom bobbleheads, who responds �Your momma�. They head back to the ring. Booker kicks him and does a snap suplex. He starts choking him and tells the ref to ask again. �Your momma� again, and Booker starts slapping him. Jethro starts to mount some offense, but Booker hit�s a spinning kick. He asks again, and Holliday responds, �Sharmell looks good naked�. HAHAHA that�s great!!! That�s comedy and wrestling rolled into one match. He misses a scissor kick, and Jethro boots him. Now he asks Booker, who says no. Booker rakes the eyes,custom bobbleheads, but Jethro clotheslines him. Booker gets a chair though, and hits him. Ax Kick, and then he quits.

Winner: Booker T

Match Rating: 9/10

Mick goes to the production truck, and tells the guys to play the DVD. Or they�re fired.

Mick comes out and rolls the tape.

JJ is at the sports arena, The Asylum. That was the start of career. He gives a tour, talks about his family and TNA, but then Mick comes behind him and starts choking Jeff with an extension cord. He said that he respected Jeff�s grandma when she was dead. Ouch. He hated Jeff�s dad too. Mick is just basically just beating Jeff�s [ beep ]. He grabs a chair and starts hitting him. He leaves him at the Asylum, and heads to the Impact Zone.

Mick is getting some Vicky Guerrero boos. Guess the figured out he�s a heel. He says that maybe Jeff learned a lesson, and that sometimes you cant go home again.

Overall: I don�t care who says what, this was the best episode of wrestling I�ve seen in months. There were no promo�s out of place, and maybe one that was totally unneeded. Lots of storylines,personalized bobblehead, because they took a break on the main one for a week. Lots of twists in this show, and there were no bad matches tonight. So tonight, and this rating is actually accurate (sorry again),customize bobblehead, I have no problems giving this weeks TNA�

Show Rating: 10/10